Fatigue is an issue that I have to work through most everyday. The
Keppra anticonvulsant that I have been ingesting twice per day since 23 June 05 contributes mightily to the situation. Sometimes I can
literally feel the fatigue coming on, as if the plug had just been pulled and the energy is fast draining out of my system. Yet I find that I can
continued to function, albeit at a reduced rate. I have also observed healthy people in urgent need of rest. Dropping off in meetings, staring
beyond the wall blankly. We are consumed by matters that seem so urgent, bouncing off the walls akin to a ping pong ball. Constantly
bombarded with noise from every direction and medium and multitasking edicts issued to ourselves by ourselves, the candle is burning at
both ends. We find the days falling from the calendar like the leaves from the trees.
Daily success is measured by items completed and checked off on my to-do list. At the top of each day's list is the question offered to the
Lord: "What do you want me to do today?" The answers are often predictive, such as "take Aric to school and go to work" but I also get "do
nothing, rest my son" in reply to a Saturday inquiry. Pondering the rest prerogative causes innumerable tasks to leap to the forefront,
demanding immediate attention. There are clothes to launder, dishes to wash, a yard to maintain, errands to run, emails, things to fix/repair,
website updates to accomplish - and they simply have to get done right now this very moment, or civilization as we know it will cease to
exist. I have to focus on rest in order to rest.
The secret of rest is there for the taking. Rest is not exclusively about sleep. Rest does not require inactivity. When I begin my morning treks to work, the notion to turn on the radio is proffered by involuntary reflex. Then the Lord asks "do you really need the radio now? Can we talk? Can you listen?" I readily relate to this request. When our van was occupied with five small children back in the day, the noises of youth and video games in the cabin often prompted Kathy and I to ask essentially the same thing; "is all of the multimedia hype needed right now? How about a little quiet?" Today, I smile and refrain from applying power to the radio when asked and offer my availability, such as "Here am I." Then the hard part of just listening commences. In due time thoughts invade my mind - thanking the Lord for clean MRIs, no seizures or 'numb walks' and specific local or national needs. People's faces are presented and arrayed in my mind like a photo album.
The truth of rest is a major Biblical theme. We read in Genesis that God the Father rested after finishing His creation. Jesus exhorts all who
are weary to come to Him to find rest. Isaiah notes that when we rest in the Lord, trusting Him, our strength will be renewed. There is a time
for everything under the son, penned Solomon. A time to laugh and a time to cry; a time to build, a time to destroy; a time to go and a time
to wait. A season to work and a season to rest.
Are you a Martha or a Mary? Jesus came to their home for a visit. Martha was busy preparing for the meal. No doubt a thousand and one
things to do, after all, it is not every day that the Son of God drops by for a chat! Mary was sitting at Jesus' feet, listening intently. Martha
asked Him to tell Mary to help her. Jesus replied that Mary had chosen a better use of her time at that moment. Do you read your Bible
each day? Do you pray? Do you make time for God? Are you so busy serving others or yourself that your spirit is empty? You deserve a
break today, so relax, catch your breath and get alone with yourself and the Lord. Take a chance. Pray "okay, here I am. Now what?" and
just sit there, alone in your thoughts. Don't expect instantaneous results, but do be prepared to discover a whole new world all around
you.
For a brain tumor person, physical rest is a given and generally accepted as the norm. Emotional rest is important for everyone. Going off
line for a while squelches and even cancels the background noise that would reduce my life to a droid-like series of high stress events.
When I rest, my mind is backwashed and cleared. I can hear God's whisper and feel His smile.
